So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
