he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
