I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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