I wanna passion pit in your ass
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
