I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
