I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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