You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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