I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize