if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
