physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
