Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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