Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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