They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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