Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize