I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
