She announced her abortion via fbk
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
