i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
