we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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