**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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