No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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