Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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