now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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