I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
