I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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