Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
