at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
wow bdsm is so cute
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