I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
