Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
