STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
