I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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