sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize