Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize