Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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