I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We had to coat check the pizza.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
