Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
