Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this just has baby written all over it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
