Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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