dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
