she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
