evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
