I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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