I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
