he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
