sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
