Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
