I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Randomize