Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
