yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
