Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
