Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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