I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
