I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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