Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
