im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
