i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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