it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
