Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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