My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
