so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
