Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
