Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
