I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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