? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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